Kerrville Visit 11/27/21

 Good Evening peeps!

Andrew and I went to share our couples testimony in Kerrville and got to visit with some wonderful friends. Was a blessed time as afterwards I was able to testify about God's revelation of his love for me as he revealed where he was during times of traumatic events in my childhood. I LOVE to tell people about the "salve" encounter that I had with Jesus about 3 years ago.  I am reminded just how much he loves and how intimately he knows me - brings me to tears just writing this AND every time I share my experience it draws me even closer to the LOVE of Christ - it deepens I guess I would say. I LOVE Jesus. 

I grew up in a very abusive home. I witnessed and experienced things no little girl should ever have to. From sexual abuse from those I was supposed to trust, to family violence, not ever knowing what I was going to come home to, worried about my mother constantly as she endured abuse herself, and a crippling fear that eventually anger, followed by drugs and sex, covered up. I didn't have a childhood - had to grow up way TOO fast. Learned how to manipulate others with my body to get what I needed. 

Through the years the anger turned into rage and even though I got clean 4/12/95 I did not know how to deal with the anger I felt. I did lots of work on myself through secular recovery 12 steps, therapy, countless self-help books, deliverance, but still had an enormous amount of anger that spewed all over the people I loved and I was not a very pleasant person. 

I still have times when I have to work to identify what I'm feeling so I can manage the emotions and take the appropriate actions where needed to move through the feelings (usually hurt of some sort) and not allow my emotions to take me captive, as today I want my spirit to rule my life, not my emotions. 

I have SO much to say and haven't even reached the salve part of this entry - so for today I am going to end this entry - but I will write out the salve encounter soon so keep an eye out for it!